Is it just me?

I was a little uncomfortable choosing "Still's Mama" as a name for my new blog. You see, I'm actually not a mama, at least not yet. E and I decided to start trying for our first baby after a recent appointment with my doctor. I am starting this diary now to document our journey into parenthood from the very beginning. I have looked around parenting blogs and websites a lot since we started talking about this massive step in our lives, and it's left me feeling kind of isolated and alone. There just isn't very much information or support out there for disabled and chronically ill women like me who are trying to have babies or raise a family. Adult Onset Still's Disease is a rare form of autoimmune arthritis, so rare that it seems like there is not even information in medical journals about its effects on pregnancy.

Am I really alone? I've wondered if E and I really are pioneers, charting new waters on our way to parenthood. Maybe this illness and the disability it brings are so devastating for most women that they just choose not to be parents. Maybe they just can't find a partner willing to take this step with them. Maybe, and I'm terrified just thinking about this one, this disease has left them all unable to get pregnant or to carry a healthy baby to term. I don't really believe that's true, but maybe they just haven't written about it or published their writings on the internet.